Ed was sitting at his desk with the door to his office closed. He was able to focus better with limited distractions. When the phone rang, as it was doing now, he would temporarily break concentration. As long as it was only a single ring or two, it would not affect his overall performance. However, when the phone continued ringing and ringing and ringing, he could no longer endure it.

Image Credit: Luca Zaninoni

Ed got up and left his office walking into the small lobby space. Neil was sitting at a desk not ten feet in front of the outside door. Neil was eating from a bag of Cheetos and clicking away at the computer. The monitor was near the corner of the desk and the front and center area was occupied by a “receptionist” placard.

Ed looked at Neil incredulously. The phone stopped ringing. “Is there a reason you didn’t answer the phone?” Ed asked.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t hear it,” Neil said.

“How could you not hear it?” Ed was not amused.

“Okay sorry. Look, I’m not really cut out for this secretary stuff. Why don’t we hire someone so I can concentrate on the caseload? ” Neil replied.

“That’s easy. There is no caseload because there are no cases. There are no cases because you won’t answer the phone,” Ed reasoned.

“At least let me move into the second office there. I mean, it’s empty. Just sitting there. Kinda, saddish,” Neil stated as he licked his cheesy fingers.

The phone rang again. And again. Neil just looked at Ed. Ed just looked at Neil, arms crossed.

Then, after the third ring, Ed put his hands out; ‘well?’ they seemed to say.

Neil got the hint and snatched the phone quickly.

“Huntington and Chandler, Private Investigators, how may I be of service?” Neil was confident and smooth. “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Is that right? A job! Well sure we can help you out. That’s what we’re here for.”

Neil fished in the desk for a piece of paper. He grabbed the pen from Ed’s breast pocket. Ed tried to grab it back but Neil threatened Ed’s white shirt with cheese-covered fingers. All the while Neil held the phone against his shoulder and wrote with the other free hand.

“Okay, yep, I got. I tell you what, I think I could swing by around two or three-ish. Sound okay? Great, see you there Mrs. Sanchez. Buh-bye,” Neil hung up the phone.

Neil folded the piece of paper and put it in his pocket. Then he went back to his game of solitaire and bag of Cheetos.

“Well?” Ed said expectantly.

“Well what?” Neil replied.

“The phone?” Ed said.

“Oh yeah, like I was saying, you really should hire a proper secretary,” Neil said matter-of-factly.

The front door opened and an electronic bell sounded. A beautiful young girl walked in texting on her phone and listening to a music player. Neil stood to greet her. He wiped his hands on his pant leg, walked around the desk, and placed his arm around the girl.

“Ed, this is my daughter, Eva. Eva, this is my associate, Ed,” Neil said proudly.

“Hi, pleased to meet you, I’m your dad’s boss,” Ed shook the girl’s hand. She put her phone away in her purse and Neil plucked the earbuds from Eva’s head and handed them to her.

“Daddy’s friends are always funny. Eva’s got summer break, so we’re gonna go get some lunch, Ed,” Neil beamed.

“That’s fine, but what about the call?” Ed resumed.

“That’s reminds me, Eva, after lunch do you want to go with me to meet with Mrs. Rosa Sanchez?
Apparently she’s missing a priceless family heirloom and wants us to find it,” Neil looked at Ed.

“Dad, shouldn’t you be directing that information to Ed and not me?” Eva quipped. Ed smiled at her, then at Neil.

“You have a great daughter, Neil.”

Neil furrowed his brow.

“We’ll be back later” Neil ushered Eva out of the office.

Neil and Eva parked along the street of what they believed was Mrs. Sanchez’s home. Ed pulled up in his Mercedes behind him. All three of them got out of the car.

“What are you doing here? Not both of us need to be here,” Neil said.

“What am I doing that I can’t spare twenty minutes talking to our first client?” Ed replied.

“Good point, but we’re not here to talk,” said Neil. “We’re here to listen.”

Ed threw his hand forward. “Well, lead on then, Teacher,” he said.

Mrs. Sanchez came to the door shortly after they arrived. She greeted them suspiciously at first, but warmed up immediately after Eva came into view from behind Neil.

“Come in, come in,” she said in a thick Hispanic accent.

“I’m Neil Huntington, ma’am, we spoke on the phone. This is my colleague, Ed Chandler, and this is my daughter, Eva. We just want to ask you a few questions, maybe have a look around, and then we’ll decide if we can help you out. Is that all right?”

“Yes, sure, sure, whatever you need. Your daughter, she’s so beautiful,” she said.

Eva sort of half-grinned, embarrassed. “Thanks,” she said.

They all moved past the entryway and sat on an old sofa in the living room. The colors on the walls and the frames were all bright, despite the apparent age of the paint. And although the colors seemed somewhat cacophonous, they strangely came together in an easy and comfortable way.

Many pictures in those bright frames adorned the walls and flat surfaces. Other, older and unfamiliar artifacts were scattered on the shelves and on every other conceivable space.

Neil got out a small pad to take notes on, leaned over Eva, who sat in the middle, and grabbed the pen out of Ed’s breast pocket.

“What all have you found missing, Mrs. Sanchez?” Neil asked.

“My earrings and my necklace and my rings. All very old. Been in the family for a very long time. It makes me so sad, I don’t know what to do,” She said.

“Why didn’t you go to the police, Mrs. Sanchez?” Ed asked. Neil gave him an irritated look.

“It doesn’t matter, ma’am,” Neil said quickly. “Can you show us where they were taken from?”

Mrs. Sanchez showed them the old jewelry box where the jewels were kept and from where they were taken. The box was a relic itself, but had certainly seen better days. Neil asked a few more questions, but was content shortly after. There was no obvious signs of entry nor was anything else taken. Neil and Ed walked around the rest of the house unescorted while Mrs. Sanchez showed Eva some of her other old earrings that were left behind. Eva tried on the earrings, necklaces and bracelets.

“Why did you throw such a hissy-fit when I asked her if the police had been involved?” Ed asked.

“Ed, you’re a smart guy, but you’re not too bright. She’s illegal and her husband’s probably illegal too. They won’t go to the police for fear of deportation,” Neil answered as they walked around another bedroom.

“How long do you think they’ve been here?”

“Long time I would say. Their children are probably legit though. That’s sometimes the point, at least with good people. Get the kids born here so they can’t get booted out,” Neil said.

“How were they able to get a house?” Ed asked.

“Cash. It’s a shithole part of the city, so these homes go for nothing around here. And I mean nothing. Your car might be worth more than some of the houses around here. Hopefully their kids will be able to pull themselves out of this area. It’s what she’s no doubt counting on. I believe her too. Which is unfortunate for us, because I was dead-set on the son having pawned the jewels off for cash or drugs or something. But, nope, his room is spic and span and so is sister’s. I got nothing.” Neil stopped.

Mrs. Sanchez and Eva came into the room. Eva had a necklace and earrings on that Mrs. Sanchez had given her. Mrs. Sanchez had an old brown hat in her hand.

“Eva, honey, you need to take off Mrs. Sanchez’s jewelry before you forget,” Neil said.

“No, Mr. Neil, she keep them. My mother make them for sale. I want her to have them. And I give you this.” She handed him the old brown fedora. “I find it by the bedroom window when I know the jewelry is missing. I forget to tell you,” she said.

Neil took it and suddenly looked relieved. Ed was puzzled.

“Thank you, Mrs. Sanchez, I think we can help you,” Neil said.

They said they’re goodbyes, she kissed Eva several times over, and they left.

Back at the office, Neil was sitting in a chair in Ed’s office. Ed sat at his desk. The brown fedora was between them.

“So, there’s this guy, professor at KCU. Keeps popping up near burglaries. No one but me noticed because they occurred over a long period of time. I just happened to be the most senior in the property crimes division and worked the cases. I only noticed him because he would drive by really slowly. At the first scene, I didn’t think much of it. Everyone is curious about what we do… did… what I did. The second time, I thought it was a strange coincidence. But the third time, well, the third time he drove by a different burglary, well, let’s just say that was enough for me to assign guilt. I talked to him once, but couldn’t get anything out of him and that was it. Wrote my report and moved on,” Neil said.

“How do you know that this is your guy?” Ed asked.

“The hat. When I went over to his house to talk to him, I remember seeing the movie posters. And get this, the guy’s an archeologist. My guess is that those jewels of Mrs. Sanchez are pre-Colombian. They might just be at a museum,” Neil laughed. “I never even considered that possibility before. It took a stupid hat and a damn good movie line for me to realize that this guy might actually think this stuff belongs in a museum. Go figure.”

“Great, we’ll call the police and give them the information. If they are actually at a museum like you think, then it’ll be an open and shut case,” Ed grinned.

“Can’t do that,” said Neil.

“And why not?”

“First, police may or may not check status of the Sanchez’s through immigration. Second, it won’t be open and shut because the Sanchez’s don’t have any proof that those jewels are theirs. They can’t afford a legal battle,” Neil remarked.

“What then?” asked Ed.

“This is where your super-duper lawyer skills come in to play. Talk to the curator at the museum and see if they have any pieces that came in recently that match the description of the Sanchez jewelry. If he confirms, then explain the situation to the curator. Threaten legal action and bad publicity if he doesn’t cooperate or believe you. Have him call the professor in to meet at the museum. Then just let him in on our secret. Use the hat and the DNA contained in the hat as leverage. Tell him that we know what he’s been up to and we are willing to forego legal action or criminal prosecution if they are willing to give up the jewels. And they will. Happy ending,” said Neil.

“And if they call our bluff?” Ed asked.

“I’ll frame him for drug possession,” Neil shrugged.

“God, I hope this works.”

The next week Neil was sitting at the secretary desk, eating donuts and playing on the computer. The phone rang, and rang, and rang. Ed walked out of his office and looked at Neil in utter disbelief.

“Are you serious?” Ed asked, “If you hadn’t brilliantly solved our first case I would fire you.”

“Fire me for what?” Neil asked.

“The phone, Neil, the phone,” Ed said.

“Have I told you that I can’t hear too well? Phones are really difficult for me to use. I don’t hear them ring; I can’t hear people speak on them…”

“If you can’t use phones, then how do you explain this?” Ed placed the newspaper on the desk.

“What’s this?” Neil didn’t even turn from the computer.

“Apparently, someone made an anonymous phone call to the police about a bunch of stolen goods in our local museum. If you look it up you’ll notice that these are the same stolen goods that were taken from cases that were all filed by…hmmm…what does it say…oh yes…former Detective Neil Huntington. Apparently, all of those stolen items were tracked to the same seller; a university professor. Interesting. He was taken into custody and charged with felony theft and fraud charges,” Ed said.

“Is that so?” Neil said plainly.

The phone rang again and again and again.

“A good deed like that one would seem to deserve an office and a secretary, don’t you think?” Neil said.

Ed threw a magazine in Neil’s lap. Neil picked up the magazine and realized that it was a furniture catalogue.

“Get moving, our receptionist should be here any minute now,” Ed said. Neil glowed at the moment. Ed answered the phone and started to talk from the receptionist desk. Eva walked into the office as the bell announced her.

“Hi daddy!” She said, also smiling.

“Hi, honey, what are you doing here?” He asked. Ed tapped him on the shoulder.

“She’s got the whole summer off,” Ed said. It took Neil a second to understand. He looked back at Ed, confused. Ed covered up the receiver.

“And you owe me a tire.”