Admittedly, the whole concept of a sports mascot is somewhat silly. A team chooses an animal or some other symbol, then forms their identity around it. They often choose colors based on the mascot. They put pictures of the mascot on their uniforms, fields and t-shirts. They get someone to dress up in a silly costume and parade around the stadium as the mascot. Sometimes they even get a real version of an animal and drag it to the games.
The Kansas Jayhawk
That said, there are some schools who put some effort into choosing a mascot, and others who just named their school after the first animal or thing that happened to walk by.
Grade A Mascots
If you’re going to have a mascot, it should be something that represents the history and culture of the university and the surrounding area. If you can make it intimidating, that’s even better. These mascots are unique enough that a single mention of them instantly identifies the team.
ACC:
- North Carolina Tar Heels (which derive from a variety of legends)
- Wake Forest Demon Deacons (used to be a Baptist college, thus Deacons)
- Duke Blue Devils (after a French Alpine unit in WWI)
Big 12:
- Kansas Jayhawks (I’m admittedly biased, but the mascot is named after settlers who came to Kansas in the 1850’s to make it a free state. Which means that if you root against the Jayhawks, you are rooting for slavery. Just saying.)
- Oklahoma Sooners (named after people who jumped the gun during the Oklahoma land rush of 1889)
- Texas Longhorns
Big East:
None
Big Ten:
- Purdue Boilermakers (an engineering school named after locomotive operators)
PAC 10:
None
SEC:
- Tennessee Volunteers (Civil War)
- Vanderbilt Commodore (the school was named after Cornelius Vanderbilt, a shipping tycoon whose nickname was ‘Commodore’)
- South Carolina Gamecocks (how could I leave out a mascot that 1. is a fighting chicken 2. still refers to cockfighting in the PC 21st century and 3. allows an endless variety of cock jokes?)
Grade B Mascots
Having a grade of ‘B’ is still pretty good. These are mascots that may be historical or cultural but lack something in intimidation. Most of them are still unique, which counts for a lot. Animal mascots will have trouble making it into this category unless they have something extra.
ACC:
- Maryland Terrapins (cool name, but it’s still a turtle)
- Virginia Cavaliers (like a knight, but classier)
- Virginia Tech Hokies (unique, but it’s named after a cheer)
- Miami Hurricanes (what better symbol of Florida?)
Big 12:
- Colorado Buffaloes (not a great animal, but they get points for having a live one, Ralphie, who runs around the field before the game)
- Nebraska Cornhuskers (original, but people husking corn is not very exciting)
Big East:
- Georgetown Hoyas (which are?)
- Notre Dame Fighting Irish (wonderfully politically incorrect)
- Providence Friars
- Seton Hall Pirates (there are simply not enough pirate mascots)
- Syracuse Orangemen (I had them as an ‘A’ because they were named after supporters of King William of Orange, who became King of England in 1688. However, they have recently changed to just ‘Orange’, which is a fruit, and their mascot is a giant orange puffball)
- West Virginia Mountaineers (because the state has mountains)
Big Ten:
- Iowa Hawkeyes (a clever twist on hawk)
- Indiana Hoosiers (unique, but what’s a hoosier?)
- Michigan Wolverines (animal, but a cool one)
- Ohio State Buckeyes (original, but it’s a nut)
PAC 10:
None
SEC:
- Arkansas Razorbacks (made it in by making an angry pig sound cool)
[A Side Note on Native American Mascots:
There are several schools (Florida St Seminoles, Illinois Fighting Illini, Utah Utes) that are named after local Indian tribes. These names can either be seen as a kind or tribute, or as an offensive insult. The best thing to do is ask the tribe for permission. If they think the mascot is cool, then use it. If they think it is a reminder of how white people stole their land, drop it.
If the tribe approves, then these are Grade A mascots, because they tie into the area’s history and culture, and they are unique. If the tribe is offended, then they get an F for being jerks.]
Grade C Mascots
If you must choose an animal, choose one that is unique or interesting in some way. Or, if you choose a common mascot, you should put some kind of twist on it to make it your own. Some of these schools appear to be named after the first animal to wander past the naming committee.
ACC:
- Georgia Tech Yellowjackets (at least it’s not Wasps)
- North Carolina State Wolfpack
Big 12:
- Iowa State Cyclones (although Kansas has more tornadoes)
- Texas A&M Aggies (only because they have Reveille the collie)
- Texas Tech Red Raiders (essentially a cowboy, but with a little spice)
Big East:
- Cincinnati Bearcats (at least it’s not a bear)
- Depaul Blue Demons (like Duke + Wake Forest)
- Marquette Golden Eagles
- Rutgers Scarlet Knights
- St. John’s Red Storm
Big Ten:
- Michigan State Spartans
- Minnesota Golden Gophers (will burrow you to death?)
- Penn State Nittany Lions (the Nittany almost makes it interesting)
- Wisconsin Badgers
PAC 10:
- Arizona State Sun Devils
- Oregon Ducks
- Oregon State Beavers (hehe)
- UCLA Bruins
- USC Trojans
SEC:
- Alabama Crimson Tide (is that like spilled paint or thinly veiled Communism?)
- Florida Gators (they have a swamp)
- LSU Tigers (A ‘C’ only because they have a LIVE TIGER)
- Ole Miss Rebels
Grade D Mascots
These schools probably picked their mascot out of a Mascot Registry. You may recognize these names from your T-Ball league.
ACC:
- Boston College Eagles
Big 12:
- Baylor Bears
- Oklahoma State Cowboys
Big East:
- UConn Huskies
- Louisville Cardinals
- Pitt Panthers
- South Florida Bulls
Big Ten:
None
PAC 10:
- Cal Bears
- Stanford Cardinal (their mascot is a tree–meaning they only scare the minions of Isengard)
- Washington Huskies
- Washington State Cougars
SEC:
- Georgia Bulldogs
- Mississippi State Bulldogs
(This is just lazy.)
Grade F Mascots
If you named your team either Wildcats or Tigers, then you obviously did not take more than 30 seconds to try to think of a name. There are several of these schools across the country, and sometimes they even play each other (like Mizzou and Memphis in this year’s NCAA tournament).
The Wildcats
Kansas State, Northwestern, Arizona, Kentucky, Villanova and my 5th grade soccer team. [Editors note: Alex Knapp's 5th Grade soccer team was also the Wildcats. This was not the same team.]
The Tigers
Clemson, Missouri, Auburn and LSU (who at least has a tiger, which is why LSU got a ‘C’ above.)
There are many more colorful mascots. Some of my favorites are from smaller schools that weren’t included here. Vermont has the Catamounts as a mascot. A catamount is essentially a wild cat, but they spent five minutes thinking and got a cooler nickname. I like the Furman Paladins (like a knight) for its uniqueness and historical content, and the Delaware Blue Hens for its originality. Cal State Northridge are the Matadors, which may even reflect their Spanish heritage (or not, I just saw them in the tournament).
When it’s well chosen, a mascot can uniquely define a university, and provide a window into its culture and history. When it’s poorly chosen, a mascot is something you see in a zoo (or hit with your car).
Just to let you know, the Georgetown Hoya comes from a chant that they used to do back in the day ‘hoya saxa’, or ‘what rocks’ in greek/latin. The idea came from the thought that their defense was solid and held up like a stone wall. It’s no ‘Rock Chalk’, but it works. Their official mascot is the bulldog, which probably puts them in the D-F grade range. The Hoya just sounds cooler.
What about Florida State? or Florida? or North Texas?
Florida State was in the Special Note on Native American Mascots (if the tribe approves, they get an A, if not, F). Florida got a C, because Gator is not a terribly original mascot, but at least they live near a swamp.
I did not do North Texas, since I only had space for the BCS schools. Mean Green is not an inspiring mascot (it’s a color, after all). It gets a D.
Outside your defined terrain limits but consider the Wyoming Cowboys and Cowboy Joe. Would seem to meet most of your criteria.
Though “cowboys” may not be original, Oklahoma State modeled their mascot “Pistol Pete” after a true cowboy and US Marshall, Frank Eaton. Plus, they were originally the tigers, so at least they moved up a bit! Besides, we like shooting our “pistols” and watching the Spirit Rider and Bullet the horse ride out any time we score.
Well, it’s not like the University of Kentucky noticed that some other teams’ nicknames were “Wildcats” and borrowed the idea.
The nickname became synonymous with UK shortly after a 6-2 football victory over Illinois on Oct. 9, 1909, on the road.
Commandant Carbusier, then head of the military department at old State University (as the University of Kentucky was then called), told a group of students in a chapel service following the game that the Kentucky football team had “fought like Wildcats.”
Later the name Wildcats became more and more popular among UK followers as well as with members of the media. As a result, the nickname was adopted by the University.
That was long before Little League baseball and soccer and peewee football, etc. were thought of. Probably before most other colleges adopted the same nickname for their athletics teams.
Furman University used to be the Christian Knights, but became the Paladin’s because the initials would have then been F.U.C.K.
As a mascot i would have to say that you did a very good job at broadly generalizing the lack of thought when i comes to choosing college mascots. For example Goldie the gopher was not thought of off a whim but because in 1857 minnesota was dubbed the gopher state because of a satirical cartoon that had been published and later on the college picked up the nickname. Just the same there is history behind the choosing of the bulldog as Georgia’s mascot and most likely many others.