This is the third entry in Heretical Ideas’ Conspiracy Week, in which our authors attempt to make up the most outlandish conspiracy theories they can think of. You can read the first entry here. The second entry is here. For background on conspiracies, read this article.

King Louis XIV - Alien?

As we all know, the United States was founded on principles that distinguished itself from the monarchial systems of Europe. Among those were the ideals that a ruling class should be selected by the people, not anointed upon the basis of religious favoritism or historical bloodlines. We now know that the Founding Fathers were correct in their development of Republican leadership more than we originally realized.

Upon in depth investigation conducted by academics, religion experts, and philosophers alike, we now are certain that the development of the ruling elite class of absolute monarchies that dominated Europe for centuries was actually the execution of a plan conducted by aliens who wished to purge our planet of resources with local, cheap labor (humans).

The premise for such an argument is simple. The manipulation of human inhabitants that were susceptible to intimidation and fear tactics were easily led by developing a hierarchy of religious people, those that were able to perform acts beyond that of humans at that time. With such powers, leadership developed by these peoples from another world was in place. Their abilities were unlimited, and the only chance of their demise and removal from the Earth was the development of the humans themselves. Their motive was just as simple. To procure the abundant precious metals available on Earth, that were ripe for the taking, and barely defended by early proto-human peoples that did not have the knowledge or capabilities to defend themselves against such an invasion.

Initial proof of this original deception comes from the roots of our modern European languages. Alien, meaning ‘of or from a distant place’, comes from the Latin root word Alius, meaning ‘to deceive’. The French word for ‘alien’ is étranger. In Italian it is straniero (stranger). It is obvious that the original ‘aliens’ came ‘to deceive’ the entirety of humanity.

The deception was relatively easy to design. With the early development of European peoples at that time, controlling their clan-based culture following the end of the Roman Empire lie with establishing the leadership of groups. Through enculturation, the wandering bands of people adapted to a more settled life. Their labor force was set to exploiting the land for alien profit, and the monarchy was paid in spoils by the humans for the ‘right’ to live on their own lands.

With their advanced abilities these alien leaders were disguised as human, with ‘superhuman’ legends surrounding their abilities and roles. Arthur was able to pull a sword from a stone that no other person could, most likely due to his un-human strength. Charlemagne was ‘magically’ able to collapse the walls of Pamplona (with God’s help) and allow his army to capture the city from the occupying Moors. The legends of these original monarchs go on and on, but are most likely based in facts that the simple humans of that time could not easily explain. Linking their monarchs’ actions to ‘Divine Power’ was the simplest explanation for these acts, and led to the Divine Right of Kings which was developed over the next millennia.

Under the guise of organized religion, many monarchs developed themselves as the sole conveyors of God’s Will on Earth, if not an actual deity themselves. Kings such as Henry VII of England developed his own religion. Louis XIV of France declared himself the Sun God. James I of Scotland and England as well as others further developed the idea of Divine Right, which subjected their wills to no one and led their ability to be felt around the globe without objection. The constant oppression of scientists and non-religious philosophy by religion kept the human civilization in the Dark Ages for centuries, not to emerge until the late 15th Century.

The evidence of the extraterrestrial domination is found in other fora as well. Monarchs never bred with those who were not ‘noble’, aka: other aliens. With their unique DNA, aliens were not easily able to cross-breed with the native human inhabitants of Earth. This scientific fact led to the necessary act of only breeding with other aliens, thereby keeping the monarchy bloodline within their own pool. Tainting the lineage with degenerate humans would have been disastrous. The effects of this were seen within the grouping of specific peoples who did not live outside of their own groups, thereby leaving the rest of the world outside looking in.

As the initial takeover of Europe concluded in the late 1400’s, the focus on available resources turned to other locations. The ‘Age of Discovery’ that was inspired by the monarchy’s desire to extend their reach in order to exploit resources for their home-world’s benefit. Reaching out to the Americas, Africa, and Asia, the continuation of this purge led to the colonization of the globe. Under the rule of European nations, and their monarchs, the alien race had effective control over the planet, their plan for export in full swing. No longer limited by the European continent, they now had groups of humans from all over the world working to give them a cut of their local development, keeping the alien deceivers in power.

As the development of human kind began to catch up after the disastrous period portrayed for several centuries, the tipping point toward humans regaining control over their own planet came in the 18th Century. The growth of science and philosophy through thinkers such as Newton, Madison, Burke, Diderot, Kant, Jefferson, von Goethe, Montesquieu, and Smith showed the independence and ability of the individual person. The Age of Enlightenment proved to the alien race in control of the Earth through empire and domination that the end of easy domination was at an end.

Not wanting a major struggle for a planet that was beginning to wane on its resources, they gave up their authoritarian power without a fight. Leaving those behind who wished to stay, the monarchies of several European nations began to falter, diluting the bloodline with common marriages. By the 20th Century, most monarchies had been reduced to infighting groups determined to become simply a burden upon their ‘people’, their DNA confused upon itself that has lead to a band of inept imposters to cling upon a aloof way of life.

Alien occupation has taken a different turn since the re-development of liberalized democracies over the past few centuries. They are now a small, determined band longing for the power they once had. For many years, it was unknown where they were hiding. However, recent investigations by my Heretical Ideas colleague has shown that they may have been hiding in Hawaii. Check out his article later today for more details…